30th birthday edition

Mr. Jaberg's 30th Birthday Bike Tribunal

A scientific, legally questionable calculator for determining your adequate birthday settlement. Everyone starts guilty. Knowing Mr. Jaberg only earns a capped discount. Notorious cheaters will undergo a supervised trial.

Phone numbers are stored locally as unique IDs. Mercy is capped at 25%, unless OG status is unlocked.
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1

Identity and liability

Nobody here is random. Invitation implies history. History implies damages.

Used as your unique tribunal ID. Your name can change. Your highest settlement cannot escape.

2

Sacred knowledge test

Correct answers earn percentage discounts. Wrong answers become evidence.

3

Personality and social damage

This section determines whether you know Mr. Jaberg or merely survived near him.

4

Deep-cut Mr. Jaberg knowledge

A chance for people with actual context to earn their very limited mercy.

5

Annoyance and historical debt

The court reminds you that underestimating annoyance is itself annoying.

Multiple selections are allowed. Underreporting has been anticipated.

6

Financial reality check

The calculator respects hardship. It does not respect excuses.

7

Consumption penalty

This is added after the guilt calculation and listed separately. Transparency matters, especially when invoicing friends.

Ready for judgment?

The calculator will produce a guilty sum, capped knowledge discount, consumption penalty, special penalties, credits, and a final birthday settlement.